The Descending Inevitable
by mundane-pansycakes
Summary: It's Tessa's fiftieth birthday and she should be celebrating. But a horrible realization from James Herondale causes the day to be a terrifying reminder. Clockwork Princess Spoilers
1. Chapter 1

"Happy Birthday to you," voices sang throughout the room, all laughing and cheering, smiling excitedly. Tessa Herondale cowered at all the noise, not wanting the attention, but thanked everybody anyway. She happily accepted the hugs people gave her, gratefully took the presents they passed her. Like she did every year.

"Oh, congratulations, Tessa!" Charlotte chimed, walking over and hugging her. "I can't believe it's been so long. I remember that first day when Will brought you to the Institute. How you've grown up," she smiled. But, in fact, Tessa hadn't grown up. Not exactly. She was immortal, everlasting. Her face was as young as the day she arrived in London, just sixteen years old.

"Thank you, Charlotte," Tessa smiled. The woman who she considered a mother was much older now, though she only had a few years on Tessa. Her chocolate brown hair had lightened to a pale, almost gray color. Her face was dotted with wrinkles, soft lines formed from years of laughing. She wore a beautiful dress that made her eyes stand out, black runes peeking out from under her sleeves. "I can't believe that you did this for me. You know you didn't have to!"

"Of course I had to," Charlotte smiled warmly. "You know how much I care about you." And Tessa did. Charlotte had made sure that Tessa was happy ever since she first arrived. She took care of her, comforted her, even helped her take care of the children. Throwing her a birthday celebration was just another point on the endless list.

"As do I!" somebody chirped from behind her. Henry was wheeling over to them, looking excited as ever. His hair was still a bright red color, but strands were graying quickly. Dark bags were under his eyes and Tessa could tell that he had been up all night working on some sort of invention. "Here you go, Tessa. Happy birthday!" he smiled. Tessa leaned down and hugged him before taking the small box in her hands. Henry grinned as she opened, her dainty fingers working to unravel the gift.

"Oh, Henry!" Tessa said, gasping at the picture frame inside. It was a simple, wood frame, but it was coated in intricate gears that matched her clockwork angel's. Golden metal traced the edges, a picture of Will and Tessa on their wedding day inside of it. The gold of Tessa's dress glinted off the page. "It's lovely! Thank you so much, both of you," she smiled.

"Tessa!" somebody called and she whirled around to see her sister-in-law standing there, dressed in Shadowhunter black. Her hair was twisted into an intricate knot and her eyes were a piercing blue. Her husband stood beside her, a sly smile on his face. "Gabriel, Gideon, Sophie and I are still working on your gift," Cecily explained apologetically. "It's taking much more time than we thought . . "

Tessa laughed at this, waving it aside. "It's fine, Cecily. I don't need anything."

"Yes, but that's what everybody says. It's your fiftieth birthday, Tessa! This is a big one," she exclaimed, grinning. "It should be ready in a couple of days, right Gabriel?" Cecily grinned.

"Of course," he smirked, causing Tessa to roll her eyes. "My brother should be over soon. He had to fetch Thomas from university on the way over, and the drive is longer than he expected. He sent a firemessage earlier apologizing."

"That's fine, Gabriel. Thank you," Tessa said. She hadn't seen Sophie in a very long time and ached to reunite with her, but she wasn't mad about it. She would see her soon enough.

A few others came up and talked to Tessa, handing her lovely presents and granting her compliments. She smiled as Anna and Alexander Lightwood argued in the corner, just like their parents. She watched Charles Fairchild tinker with some sort of invention beside Henry. Will was standing off to the side speaking with Charlotte, the joy so evident on his face. She ached to go over and talk to him, to be alone with him, but she didn't wish to be rude. Charlotte had worked hard on this party; she wasn't going to just waste it.

Just then, Lucie Herondale strolled over to Tessa, her lovely brown hair dancing in curls around her. "Mother," she started. She was just as tall as Tessa now, almost a full grown adult. Jesse Blackthorn was trailing her, watching her with curiosity. Lucie had told her mother that he was just a friend, but Tessa could see the way he was looking at her. It was just how she used to catch Will watching her back so many years ago. With so much love in his eyes. "Can Jesse help me with my training? I know it's your party, but he has this new move to show me. It will only be a minute," she begged. Lucie was just as fierce as her father when it came to Shadowhunting. She was anxious to train, to learn, at even the most inappropriate moments.

"Of course," Tessa complied. Jesse was a lovely young man, and an even better fighter. Tessa wasn't worried about him at all. "Just please don't hurt yourself."

"I have my stele, Mother," she rolled her eyes. An iratze was Lucie's favorite tool-and probably most frequently used rune.

"I know, but I don't want to have to call Magnus again," Tessa sighed. A few weeks ago, Lucie had trained so hard that she broke a bone. An iratze should have been able to fix it, but for some reason the injury was worse. Tessa had called Magnus to help, but she hated taking advantage of his powers. He said he didn't mind, but that didn't mean Tessa was okay with it. "I worry about you, Lucie," she said, leaning over and kissing her daughter on the head.

"I know," she said before racing off with the Blackthorn towards the training room. Tessa shook her head and walked over to where her son was sitting-alone in the dark corner of the Institute. He was turning a seraph blade over and over in his hands, his expression grim, his golden eyes sharp with sorrow. "James?" she asked, sitting down beside him. He didn't look up. "Are you alright?" James had been acting so depressed lately, so distraught. Tessa was worried sick every moment over it, but never knew how to help. He was always sulking, angry about everything, but she never knew why.

"I'm fine," he mumbled, inspecting the tip of the blade.

"You don't look fine," Tessa replied, placing her hand on his leg. "Why don't you come talk with Alexander? Or Thomas? He'll be here soon." James was good friends with the Lightwood kids, but he didn't seem excited in the least by the idea. "Please, dear. I . . . I don't want to see you like this."

His eyes snapped upwards, meeting Tessa with a fierce, stinging glare. "Well, I don't want to see _you_ like this. So I guess we're even." Tessa gasped at the comment, worry melting onto her face.

"James? What do you mean? Please, tell me what's wrong." She swallowed hard and looked at him expectantly.

"I don't like to see you like this, mother! On your birthday!" he exclaimed, his face scrunching up in anger. "Every single birthday you celebrate is so depressing. Father . . . he keeps getting older. He's a Shadowhunter, mortal. But you're . . you're the same! Every single year. It's so frustrating." Tessa pursed her lips and fought back tears. James had never talked to her about her immortality, except when she had first explained it to James a long time ago. Back then he was excited by the idea; that his mother could live for ever, changing into whichever person she pleased. But now, he seemed so distressed.

"You know that I don't like it either, James," Tessa murmured. "But why does it bother you?"

He looked away, obviously not comfortable saying this to his own mother. She was always so kind to him, so understanding. How could he say this to her? "Because I feel so horrible for you. I . . . it pains me to see you have to live through this. I see how you look at father, how you don't even care that he's growing older. That he has wrinkles or that his hair isn't the same anymore. You don't care how he looks or how old he is. It doesn't matter to you!" he's almost yelling now. Tessa could hear the room start to silence, everybody's attention falling on the mother and son in the corner. James didn't seem to notice. "Aunt Charlotte, Uncle Henry, Aunt Cecily and Sophie, they're all going to _die _one day! I'm going to die, Lucie's going to die! And father's going to die, too. And you're going to have to stand here and just _watch_. Every single year, you're only getting closer to the inevitable and it makes me so angry that you're going to have to go through that! You shouldn't have to, mother! It's not fair," he cried. He was standing up, his black hair a mess, his golden eyes practically glowing. The seraph blade he had been playing with was still in his hands, his knuckles red, and Tessa almost felt threatened by it.

"James, I-" she started but he was already gone, fleeing towards his room. Tessa closed her mouth and felt Will's familiar arms wrap around her. Despite his hold on her, she sank to the ground, breaking into a fit of ugly sobs. Tears rolled down her cheeks like a rainstorm, her breathing becoming heavy and pained. William shifted her body so that she was crying into his chest. He stroked her hair, murmuring soft words in Welsh to try to calm her.

"Let's go out to the stables and check on the horses," she could hear Charlotte announce. It was so quiet, the only sound Tessa's aching cries. Everyone staggered out of the main room of the Institute, whispering adults and confused kids. Lucie lingered by the doorway-she had come back from the training room-and looked at her father desperately. He just shook his head at her, a silent no, and she walked away, a worried expression plastered on her face.

Will gathered Tessa closer in his arms, putting all of her body weight on him. He looked down at her with all the love and concern in the world, cupping her face in his hands. "Tess," he whispered, kissing her forehead gently. "Don't listen to him, Tess," he said. His voice was still the same, but Tessa could hear the years in it. He's so much closer to death than before.

"He's right," she choked out.

Will didn't disagree. He knew that James was right, no matter how much he hated to admit it. But he had always known and so had Tessa. Why was this so hard now? "Come on, Tess," he settled on, lifting her off the floor. She fit in his arms easily, and Will's Shadowhunter strength helped as well. He carefully walked her over to their room in the Institute and lay her down on the bed. She curled into herself and started to cry again. Will shut the door tight and lay down beside Tessa, pulling her to himself. "Tell me what you're thinking."


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry I haven't updated. Busy week. But here you go!**

* * *

Tessa sniffled and closed her eyes, trying to calm down. Will repeated the question, "Tell me what you're thinking." She opened her mouth to find her throat dry and aching, but she explained anyway. "I feel as if I cannot do this. Not once you're gone," she murmured, choking up at the last bit.

"Tessa, don't say that. We have many more years left together, I know it. Please don't do this to yourself," Will told her, stroking her hair gently. "James is . . . you know he's having a rough time, Tess. You shouldn't listen to him. He was angry. He was being rash, that's all."

"But he was right, Will. I haven't thought about it much but it's going to be awful. I won't have anybody for years, for centuries. I'll be alone and I don't know how I'll survive. _If _I'll even survive," Tessa sobbed. She was losing hope fast. Magnus had promised her a long time ago that he would stay with her once her family had passed, but Tessa knew that it would never be the same. She'd still feel alone, still miss Will.

"Please, please, don't say that," he repeated, cupping her face in his cheeks. "You will live a wonderful life, Tessa. You will go onto wondrous things, explore the world, help Shadowhunters of the future generations. It will be incredible, Tessa!" Will tried to cheer her up, but even he knew it was hopeless. Immortality sounds fun at first, but once the endless years start to take their toll, it is more of a punishment. There was no way that Tessa would find joy in it, at least not at first. Maybe years later, after she moved on, he hoped.

The seemingly sixteen-year-old girl continued to cry into his chest. "James . . he said I'll have to watch him die. I'll have to watch them all die, Will! I cannot do that!" Tessa exclaimed in a roar of tears. She heaved forward, her stomach collapsing on itself, her body curling inward as she cried. Will tried to help her but it was useless. She wouldn't stop.

"They're Shadowhunters, Tess," Will said, despite her violent sobs. He stroked her back as she cried. Her face was buried in his lap, her body rolled into a tight ball . "Most die very young. We're very lucky that our family has survived this long. We are destined to die in battle eventually. It is our honor as Nephilim."

"How is that supposed to make it any less dreadful? Knowing that it's an honor?" Tessa retorted, finally breathing at a relatively steady pace. "I'll have to bury them, Will! Alone! No one will be left. Sophie, Cecily, Charlotte, they'll all be gone." She took a long breath and sat up straight, looking him in the eyes. "You'll be gone, Will. I- I don't know how I'll be able to live after that." Her eyes were vacant as she stared at him, her mind drawing up the picture.

_She is standing in a long white gown, mourning runes dotting the fabric. Her hair pulled up into a tight bun, a hat shading her tear-streaked face. She bends down to place a single rose atop of an empty grave stone. _

_She brushes the dirt atop of his burial with her smooth, young hands. She sobs quietly as she looks at the row of graves lining the cemetery. Her adoptive mother and father, so understanding and caring. Her sister-in-law, vibrant and unafraid. Her best friend, the girl with the scar on her cheek but a beautiful face . Her husband and his brother, the arrogant siblings who turned out to have kind hearts. All of their children. _

_Her two, lovely, intelligent, fearless children. Her brave, generous daughter. Her dark but compassionate son. Side by side, in a grave that she should have filled first. _

_And her husband's, the grave she stands over. The beautiful boy with blue eyes and black hair; who taught her poetry and literature; who showed her how to fight; who rescued her countless times; who loved her no matter what she was._

_Her other half._

The vision made her shudder. Will wouldn't be in there; he would be in the Silent City with the rest of the Shadowhunter's ashes. But Tessa held onto the human tradition of burial sites, and thought that it would be a good way to help her through the immortality: being able to revisit her lost family. "Tessa," Will whispered. "You will move on. You will meet others. Maybe fall in love again."

"No, never!" Tessa rushed to say. "You are completely mine, William Herondale. Don't ever think that I would forget you like that. I will always hold onto you."

"Tessa, I want you to be happy when I'm gone. I know that you love me. By the angel, you tell me every day. But if finding someone else, even if it's not for hundreds of years, will make you smile, then I wish that for you. I want you to be able to embrace your gift, your immortality, and use it for the better, rather than mourn for me for your whole life." He took a long pause and Tessa watched the pain in his eyes, the wear of battle and the darkness of the past. "Jem . . . Jem believed that life was a cycle. That everyone meets again in another life. That we are reborn. And, oh god Tessa, do I hope that is true. Do I ever hope that I will be able to spend another life with you, sometime in the future."

"Will-"

"And I know that I will. Jem has never told me wrong and I do not think this will be the first time he does. No matter what happens in this life, we will meet again in another. In some way, some form. And I will love you all the same, even if you do not care for me then." Will's eyes are the brightest blue Tessa has seen them, coated in thin layer of tears.

She leans forward and presses her lips gently to his, slowly and gently kissing him. His lips tasted like snowflakes and wine, winter and Will and London, just like always. And time. Somehow, Tessa could taste the years on his lips, the time an inevitable darkness hidden within every touch. "Promise me you will make it through. Until we meet again. Promise me that," Will murmured, pressing his forehead to hers.

She breathed in his scent and closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his warmth mixing with hers. "I promise," she agreed, though she wasn't sure if she'd be able to keep it. She hoped she could. For Will.

"Good, because we still have one last birthday present," he smiled, changing the subject. Will could see it in her eyes that she didn't want to dwell on the subject much longer. He scooped her up and carried her out towards the stables where the others awaited.

When they got there, he set her down and she even smiled, all traces of her breakdown gone. "James, Lucie, please come here," he called to them. They were talking with the other kids near one of their horses, Knightly. The adults were all gossipping worriedly on the other side, but seemed relieved by Tessa's return.

Lucie dashed over to her mother and wrapped her arms around her. "Mother, I was very worried about you! You shouldn't be sad on your birthday," Lucie scolded, holding her mother tight. Her accent matched her father's.

James was a little slower, walking grimly over to his parents. Will said something in his ear that Tessa couldn't hear and he walked over to her. Lucie pulled away and let James through. Tessa bit back tears as her song embraced her like never before, his dark hair pressed up against her chest, his strong arms warming her body and heart. "James," she whispered, stroking his back happily.

"I'm sorry, mother. I- I just got angry. I love you, you know that. I just-"

"James, you do not need to apologize," Tessa whispered, holding him by the shoulders. "You said what you did because you care about me. You were just worried about me, about my future. And I am so grateful for that; to have a son that worries about me and pities me. Do not apologize for having a kind heart, James Herondale." Tessa smiled, thinking he got that from his father.

James smiled awkwardly at his mom, not sure how to respond to that. Luckily, Will saved him. "Okay, Lucie, would you like to do the honors?"

"Of course!" she grinned and stepped back close to her mother. She handed her a small, box, a simple red bow tied atop of it. Tessa humbly took it, not sure what to expect. She tipped the lid off and revealed a dusty, old book. Tessa recognized it immediately. Tears-now happy ones-sprang to her eyes as she lifted the novel from the box, carefully taking it into her arms.

"Oh, Will!" she cried, tracing her hands over the worn cover of her favorite novel, _A Tale of Two Cities. _She skimmed through the familiar pages, loving the feel of the pages underneath her pages.

"Look on the dedication page," James chimed in, smirking slightly at Tessa's obvious excitement. Tessa worked her way backwards to the dedication page. Written in french ink, though somehow looking as if the words have fit there all along, were the first words he had ever spoken to her: _You cut me. It might be fatal. _Tessa laughed aloud at it and she placed a hand over her mouth with joy. _My Tessa, you are as beautiful as the first time I saw you. As brave as any Shadowhunter there was. And as perfect as a person can be. You will always be my Lucie Manette. With complete love, William Herondale. _"I had Magnus redo the dedication page for you. This is an original copy. One of the first published," Will smiled, his eyes focused solely on her.

"Will," she breathed, tears running freely down her face. She embraced him so tightly, crying against his chest that she almost didn't notice a small envelope fall out of the book she held. "Oh," she gasped as he leaned down to pick it. She had wanted to kiss him, but she supposed that would have to wait.

"Open it," Will urged, handing it to her. She raised her eyebrows in curiosity, looking to her kids. They just gave a fake shrug of ignorance and smiled at her as she broke the seal on the letter. Inside was a picture of a familiar city, one with tall buildings and a glamour of hope. New York. "We're going to portal there tomorrow. Just the four of us. If you want, of course," Will smiled. "We have some friends at the Institute there that we can stay with. I thought it'd be nice for you to visit, show the kids where you're from." He was grinning her favorite smile of his, lopsided yet perfect, and she nearly squealed.

"Of course I want to go!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him once again. She felt Lucie join the group huddle and then James.

"Happy Birthday, Tess."

**Should I keep going? Or no? I want to but I don't know if there's any interest. **


	3. Chapter 3

"You sure you're going to be alright?" Sophie asked the next morning, looking at Tessa nervously. Her hair was tied back into a familiar bun, a loose curl hanging by her face. The scar on her cheek was vibrant as ever, but less noticeable with the other various battle scars she'd received. She was dressed in black gear, clinging to her body tightly, that only revealed her neck upwards, which was covered in thick, black runes. Her kind face was older and wiser, but she was still the same Sophie.

"Of course I will, Sophie. Thank you for your concern," Tessa replied, smiling at her friend.

"I'm just worried about you, Tessa. Last night . . "

"Was last night. It's in the past," Tessa said, quickly dismissing Sophie's train of thought. "I will be fine. This trip will help a lot, I believe." And it would. It would help Tessa spend time with her family, be happy, forget about the haunting world of demons and immortals. She could just be a mother and a wife for once, nothing more. Someone normal.

"I think so, too," Gideon said from behind Tessa, walking over to his wife. He wrapped a long arm around her and pulled her in closely. "I do hope you enjoy yourself. The Trueblood's are very kind and will treat you well." The Herondales were going to be staying at the New York Institute, run by Annabelle and Maxwell Trueblood at the moment. Will had only met them a few times, but Gideon was very well acquainted with the family. Benedict Lightwood had been in correspondance with Maxwell's father for a very long time before he passed, and Gideon knew the family well.

"I am sure of it," Tessa agreed. "Thank you, again, Sophie, for checking on me. I'm lucky to have a friend as great as you." Tessa hugged Sophie tightly. Sophie embraced her back before pulling away and stepping into Gideon's arms. The two walked out the doors of the Institute together, hand in hand, and stepped into the Lightwood carriage. Cecily and Gabriel were already waiting inside, having said their goodbyes just minutes before.

"Are you ready?" Will asked, walking over to her. "Henry's gotten the portal working. We should be going."

"Yes," Tessa agreed, bending down to pick up her suitcase. Will beat her to it, lifting the case effortlessly and walking over to the open portal down the hall. James and Lucie were already waiting, bags in hand. They were talking with Charlotte excitedly about the trip. Lucie was using her hands to gesture and Charlotte was smiling down at the young girl. Even James seemed somewhat anxious to travel. Henry was sitting in his chair beside him, fiddling with the portal. "Thank you, Henry, for this."

"Of course, Tessa!" he said cheerily, stopping his work. "You're going to have such a wonderful time!"

"I'm sure we will," Tessa smiled. She leaned over and kissed Henry on the cheek, then walked over to Charlotte. "Thank you, Charlotte. We will see you in a week." Charlotte opened her arms up to Tessa, who had become somewhat like an adopted daughter to her, and Tessa walked readily into them. Charlotte was going to look after the Institute for them while they were gone and Tessa couldn't thank her enough.

"Have a lovely trip," Charlotte said, pulling away. She said goodbye to Will and the kids before walking over to join Henry's side.

"Can I go first?" Lucie asked her mother. Tessa looked questioningly to Henry, not sure if this was a safe idea. But he just shrugged, as if saying _Why not? _and Tessa nudged her daughter forward. Lucie had only portaled once or twice in her life, in times of emergency battle and such, but she had never gone outside of the country, let alone across the sea. Tessa was worried for her, but knew that she could trust Henry and his inventions. Lucie stuck one hand in tentatively before plunging through the glowing circle, laughing as she went.

"I'll go in next," Will said, wanting to make sure she was okay. Will snatched his and Tessa's suitcases before jumping through the portal with fearlessness.

"James," Tessa said. The boy took a deep breath and raised an eyebrow at his mother. Tessa nodded and he stepped smoothly through the portal. Tessa smiled one last time at Henry and Charlotte before walking through the portal. Her arms tingled as she went through, the magic making her shiver, and the world was lit up in a blue light. It flashed wildly but before she could process it all, she was on her hands and knees in a different place. She was on the floor of a familiar looking building, an Institute. Though this wasn't the London one, it was the New York one.

Will's hand appeared infront of her and she took it gratefully, standing up. Lucie and James were looking through the windows, hoping to get a glimpse of New York. Tessa laughed at this, remembering how she felt the exact same way when she journeyed to London: anxious to see this new, unfamiliar world. "How was your journey?" Will asked jokingly.

"Oh, it was quite long. The ride was a bit bumpy and the service was horrible," Tessa smiled back. Will's eyes glowed brightly and he took her hand in his.

"William Herondale!" someone called just as they were about to gather the kids. "Welcome to the New York Institute!" Tessa whirled around to see a tall, blonde woman walking the way. Her eyes were green and her lips were painted red. The lines of her face were sharp and angular, making her look vey poised. "It's so nice to see you," she said, hugging Will briefly. He smiled back at her in a friendly way. "I'm Annabelle Trueblood. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Herondale," she introduced, holding her hand out to Tessa.

"As to you. And please, call me Tessa," she replied, taking her hand. She noted Annabelle's slight confusion at her age, but she assumed that Will must have already informed her about her immortality. Annabelle seemed a bit curious but not judgmental. "These are our children, James and Lucie," Tessa said, gesturing over to the two by the window. They turned around at the mention of their names and walked over to greet Annabelle.

"Thank you for having us, Mrs. Trueblood," Lucie said properly, shaking her hand. Annabelle smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Yes, thank you very much," James added.

"Of course! I'm glad to be able to welcome you to New York, though I've heard that Tessa here is quite familiar with it?" she wondered.

"Yes, I lived here when I was younger." Tessa remembered her Aunt's apartment, Nate playing games with her over dinner, Aunt Harriet telling her stories about her parents. The memory was sad but still made Tessa smile. She had missed her home.

"Well, I'm sure you'll be able to get around. But if not, don't hesitate to ask my husband or me. Oh, and speaking of my husband, he should be back shortly. He had an Enclave meeting to attend. But nevermind that, I should get you all settled in," Annabelle gestured for the family to follow. Everyone picked up this bag, Tessa getting hers before Will could this time, and they trailed behind the tall Shadowhunter, down a hall of rooms. "You can pick any room you like that isn't already occupied. We only have a few staying with us currently, so the majority of rooms are empty."

"Thank you, Annabelle," Tessa said gratefully.

"Of course. Let me know if you need anything. I'll be down the hall in the library." With that, she strutted away, her long hair swaying with each step.

"She seems very nice," Tessa noted. "Do they have any kids?"

"Yes, two daughters, though I believe that they do not live here. I'm not completely sure, though. I should have asked Gideon."

"I'm sure we'll find out," Tessa said before turning to James and Lucie. "Where will you be staying?"

Lucie pointed to the second room on the left. "That one has a nice view," she explained, grabbing her bag and placing it inside.

"I guess in here," James shrugged, not seeming to care that much, and walking over to the room opposite of Lucie. "Where will you be?"

"This is fine," Will decided, gesturing to the room beside his. Tessa knew that it was a good idea to stay close to the kids, specifically James, and Will seemed to be thinking the same. "How about we all unpack and then we can head out for lunch in about half an hour?"

Everyone agreed on this and proceeded to their rooms. Tessa set her bag atop of the dresser and began to unload her dresses, hanging each carefully in the closet. Will followed her example and started setting his own clothes in the drawers. When she was finished, Tessa proceeded to redo her hair and touch up her makeup. "Do you have a place you would like to go?" Will asked her.

Tessa didn't even wait a beat. She knew exactly where she wanted to go. "There's this place called Taki's."

* * *

**I decided to continue since a couple people requested it. And before anyone asks, I'll explain why Tessa knows about Taki's in the next chapter (since obviously she thought she was human when she lived here). **


	4. Chapter 4

"Taki's? Sounds a bit, well, tacky, don't you think?" Will grinned, raising an eyebrow at her skeptically.

"A bit," she replied with a sly smile. She linked her hand in his as they walked out of their room towards the Institute doors. "My father, he used to bring home dinner from there. I don't remember it much- just that it was _very _good. He wouldn't let us go to the actual restaurant though. And I have a feeling I know why." Tessa got sad at the thought of her father. He wasn't even her real father, just a demon disguised to look like him. But still, Tessa had loved him for the first three years of her life. She couldn't just let that go.

"You think it was a Shadowhunter spot?" Will wondered. He didn't seem to convinced by the idea.

"No, I think it's a Downworld restaurant. But I'm nearly positive it would be fine to eat there. The food was marvelous," Tessa sighed. Will wasn't thrilled about the idea of going to a Downworld hangout. He knew that some Downworlders, like vicious vampires and rowdy werewolves, could be very troublesome. Still, he trusted Tessa and therefore agreed.

Lucie and James came down to meet them shortly, and the family headed out into the busy New York streets to find the restaurant. "Wow!" Lucie exclaimed, pointing to a towering building off in the distance. Tessa smiled at her. Even Will seemed a bit in awe at the unfamiliar city. He looked around curiously, as did James, and Tessa helpfully pointed out every thing she remembered: each fact, each story, all of it.

Tessa was very aware of the stares she received on the streets. She was still holding tight to Will's hand, leaning against his shoulder, and she realized how strange it must have looked to most. They probably assumed she was a very attached daughter. Will noticed the glares, too. He did his best not to notice it, but it was hard. They both just wanted to be able to go out in public and appear to be a regular, normal couple. But that was impossible. They were far from normal.

"Is that it, mother?" James asked when they finally found what appeared to be an abandoned building. It was made of simple brick with no windows and looked rather unpleasant. But the Shadowhunters knew well enough to peel the glamour away to reveal a small, quaint little diner.

"I assume so," Tessa shrugged. "I've never actually been here. But as it's glamoured, I'm going to go with a yes," she laughed. James cracked a smile and went inside. The rest of the family followed suit.

The restaurant looked fairly normal, with vibrant walls and booths scattered about. There was a long counter stretching across the back wall, where many people were sitting and eating. It appeared fairly mundane; well, that is, without the customers.

There was a group of werewolves laughing loudly as they ate what appeared to be raw meet. Some faeries were flirting in the corner with one of the workers, a warlock perhaps. Two vampires were drinking tall glasses of blood off to their left. And then there were a few others scattered about. There was one obvious Shadowhunter, dressed in black with runes inking up his arms, eating some sort of soup at the counter. A mundane looking girl, probably a warlock with a less noticeable mark, was eating a sandwich while reading a book. This was definitely the place.

"Hi, welcome to Taki's!" somebody said. Tessa whirled around to see a faerie standing before her, a large smile plastered on her face. Her skin is milky white, her green veins visible clearly. Her hair, long and blonde, had a slight emerald tint to it. Her eyes were completely blue and her teeth, posed in a grin, were pointy. Tessa remembered from past experiences that faeries aren't as sweet as they seem. "Four?"

Will nodded and the girl led us to a booth in the far left corner, away from all the chaos of the other customers. She set down a few menus before striding off. Will laughed as I watched her go. Faeries always seemed so peculiar to me.

"Well, this is nice," James joked, raising an eyebrow at the menu. "I'll probably go with the Type A Shake. Or maybe the Toasted Bat Sandwich. Which do you prefer?" He was just as sarcastic as his father and Tessa just rolled her eyes.

"There's the regular menu on the back, James," Tessa said, flipping her own menu over to show him. "Trust me when I say that the food is excellent!"

Tessa started scanning her own menu, even taking a glance at some of the items listed for warlocks. Mostly strange concoctions, words she didn't recognize, and decided that it was best she leave that section alone. Instead, she settled on a chicken sandwich that she remembered her dad bringing her.

The waitress, who introduced herself as Kaelie, took their orders and strutted off again, leaving the family alone for a while. "What do you think of New York so far?" she asked James, hoping to spark his attention.

"It's alright," he mumbled. He was playing with his straw, stirring his water over and over again. His quiet mood had settled back in. Tessa sighed.

"_I _think it's incredible!" Lucie exclaimed proudly. "Nothing like London! Everything's so . . crazy! I feel like you could do anything here," she remarked.

"They sometimes call it the City of Dreams," Tessa told her daughter, leaning in close. "But to be honest, I think London is pretty impossible."

"We do have six-fingered Nigel," Will laughed, making Tessa cover her mouth to keep from bursting out in giggles. "He's pretty crazy, Luce." His daughter stared at him with confusion, not understanding the inside joke. "And I happen to think that New York is very nice. We must see your old house, Tessa."

Tessa's eyes went wide at the mention of it and she immediately wished Will hadn't said that. She did not want to go back. The memories were already powerful enough here in the city, threatening to make her cry. If she returned home for even just a glimpse around, she knew she would lose it. "I don't think that's a good idea," Tessa mumbled. Will realized his mistake and wrapped an arm around her, leaning over and kissing her forehead.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize you wouldn't want to go." Will stroked her back gently, trying to calm her.

"It's fine," said Tessa, brushing away his concern. Lucie looked worried and James had even stopped playing with his drink. The last thing Tessa needed was to make her kids distraught over her again. "There just isn't much to see, really. We lived in a ratty old apartment. Nothing exciting."

"Is there anywhere you could show us?" Lucie wondered. She seemed desperate to learn more about her mother's heritage, eager. James didn't seem that interested, but he didn't seem bored by the idea either.

"Well," Tessa started, looking around to Will. She wasn't sure if this would be the wisest suggestion, but she assumed he wouldn't mind. "We could visit my parents, if you like."

Will closed his mouth promptly, not expecting that. He sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes, considering this. Lucie shrunk back in her seat and James looked down disappointedly at his lap. William took Tessa's hand in his and squeezed it tightly. "Are you sure you want to do that?" he asked carefully.

Tessa handed visited her parents' graves in more than thirty years. Her Aunt Harriet would take her occasionally to see them, but it had been so long. There was nothing she wanted more than to be able to see them again, even if buried beneath the ground. "Yes," Tessa nodded.

"How about we go tomorrow? Maybe alone?" Will suggested.

"No!" Lucie objected. "I want to go, too. Please, Dad?" she begged, her eyes wide and brown, her smile adorable.

"I don't know," Will said. He wasn't positive bringing the kids along would be such a good idea. Especially if Tessa became overwhelmed.

"It's fine, Lucie. Of course you can come," Tessa smiled, taking her daughters hand and giving it a light pulse.

Before the conversation could continue, a loud, familiar voice rang through the restaurant. "Well, well, well," it said from behind. Tessa turned around and gasped at who she saw.

Standing there was a tall man with pale skin and dark hair. Glitter danced across his sleek black suit and a purple tie peeked out from under it. His hair was smoothed back and his eyes were bright as ever: yellow, piercing, and vibrant. Tessa immediately smiled at the sight of him and she fought the urge to climb over Will to get out right there.

"If it isn't the Herondales. Right here, in New York City," Magnus grinned. His cat eyes flickered with excitement. "And at my favorite diner, too!"

* * *

**YAY MAGNUS! And sorry this chap was kind of boring up until then. It was more of just a filler, I guess. **


	5. Chapter 5

"Magnus!" Tessa exclaimed, flying out of the booth to greet him. She rushed over and wrapped her arms around him. She knew that Magnus lived in New York, as he has been for nearly half a century, but meeting him had never crossed her mind when Will told her they were headed there. The last time she saw him was over two years ago. He rarely ever returns to London. "Oh, how lovely to see you here!"

He returns her hug before pulling back. "I am very lovely, aren't I?" he teases. Will walks over and gives him a nice hug, and the kids politely shake his hand. James and Lucie don't know Magnus very well - they've only met him a handful of times - but they know how good of a friend he was to their parents. "Why are you in New York?"

"Will wanted to take me for my birthday," Tessa explains, shrugging. The smile on her face is wide; she's so happy to see her old friend. "How have you been?"

"Oh, you know, the usual," Magnus sighs. "Breaking curses, healing Shadowhunters, throwing the occasional party. Nothing new." His cat eyes gleam with mysterious. Tessa gestures for him to sit down and he does so, sliding in beside her. "Are you staying at the Institute? I'm sure Church would love to see you. "

"Yes, with the Truebloods," Will says. "And I haven't seem him around yet, but I'll make sure to ask Annabelle about him." Tessa grinned at the thought of their old cat, Church. Magnus had taken him to New York so long ago, and Tessa couldn't help but miss the old furball.

Magnus waves the waitress over and smiles at her familiarly, "Could you get me my usual, Kaelie?" The faerie nods and heads back to the kitchen. "Any plans for the weekend?"

"Well, I thought I could show them some of the sights. The Statue of Liberty, Central Park. Those types of things," Tessa said. Kaelie returned with a tall glass of a blue, fizzy drink. Magnus took it gratefully and sipped the bubbles on top. Tessa assumed it was some weird, warlock drink. She wondered if she could try some.

"Are you going to visit the Silent City?" he asked, now more quietly.

Tessa sucked in her breath and squeezed Will's hand tightly. She forgot about that. One of the main entrances to the City of Bones was through New York. Flashes of Jem, dressed in parchment robes and a dark hood, crossed her mind. His silver hair and his silver eyes, now turned a deep shade of brown. His hands inching their way across the strings of a violin in a beautiful motion. "No. I don't believe that would be wise," Will said, sensing Tessa's discomfort. He felt just as torn, but he was better at hiding it.

"Why not?" James asked, confused. Tessa and Will had decided it was for the best that they leave Jem a secret from their kids. It was too hard to talk about and neither wanted to endure the pain again.

"It's not a pretty sight, James," Will said harshly.

"But it's supposed to be very interesting!" Lucie chimed, looking eager.

"Well we're not going," Tessa said firmly. Magnus gave her an apologetic look. He forgot the subject was so touchy.

"Why don't you all come to my place tomorrow night. I'm hosting a small party, and it would be an honor to have you there," Magnus quickly changed the subject.

Tessa looked at Will for an answer. He shrugged, his blue eyes curious. "We'd be delighted to," Tessa smiled.

"Great! Well, we can catch up then. I have business to attend now, so I'll leave you be," Magnus said, standing up. He slipped a small card in front of Tessa with an adress printed on it in small, fancy script. "Oh, and try my drink; it's delightful," said the warlock, winking at Tessa. With that, he strode out of the small diner, leaving a small dab of glitter on the table.

"We're going to a party?" asked James. He didn't seem too thrilled by the idea.

"I suppose we are," Will said. "Perhaps you'll have a chance to show off your incredible dance moves, Tess."

"Shut up!" Tessa teased, nudging him in the side. Tessa was a horrible dancer, and Will always made sure to remind her of it. "James, you don't have to go if you don't want to."

"Who will be there?" James asked. He wasn't that much of a party guy, but James wouldn't turn down a chance to meet some knowledgeable Shadowhunters from New York. He'd love to learn about the different lifestyles here.

"Probably a bunch of Downworlders." Tessa knew Magnus was not one to hang around Shadowhunters that much, aside from his more close friends. His party would most likely consist of wild werewolves, devious faeries and mischievous warlocks, maybe even a few vampires here and there.

"So how come we're all invited? Shouldn't you just go . . " _Because you're a Downworlder. _Tessa didn't need to hear the ending of his sentence. She had already imagined it in her head. James was right, of course, but it still made Tessa cringe to think of herself as so different from her family, from her own children.

James realized his mistake and started to apologize, but Tessa cut him off. "I don't know. Magnus doesn't mind Shadowhunters that much. Just don't try to slay any of the guests," Tessa said, narrowing her eyes. She covered her emotions well. Lucie giggled and James rolled his eyes.

"I wonder if we'll get to meet his new boyfriend," Will wondered, raising an eyebrow.

"_Boy_friend?" Lucie gasped.

"_New _boyfriend? What happened to Woolsey Scott?" replied Tessa. _  
_

"I'm not quite sure. He fire messaged me a while ago saying that he was cheating on him. I'm not sure of the logistics of it. God, Tessa, do you really think Magnus is that open to me about his love life?" Will retorted.

"Oh, please, Will. He's very open to you about his love life!" Tessa laughed. "Remember when he kissed you to make Camille jealous?"

Both kids made a face of horror and disgust. "Magnus kissed you, father?" James' said, eyes wide.

"Hey, that wasn't my idea!" Will defended, though he was laughing. "I was delusional from some demon poison. I thought I was hallucinating. He didn't even tell me it was real until a long while after!"

"I still think he liked you," Tessa said, taking a bite of her sandwich. A devilish grin was on her face.

"By the angel, Tessa, stop thinking such ridiculous things," Will teased her. He slid an arm around her waist, though, and she leaned against him. "But, as I was saying, maybe his new _friend _will be at the party."

"You think so?"

"Of course."

Tessa considered this before taking a sip of the blue mystery drink Magnus had left her. It had a strange taste - like fruit and chocolate and salt all at the same time. But it was strangely delightful. She took another sip before setting it down.

"Ooh, can I have some?" Lucie asked, reaching across the table for the glass.

"Oh, no, Lucie!" Tessa scolded, shooing her handa way. "Warlock drinks can have very horrid effects on Shadowhunters."

"But how come -" Lucie started, but cut herself off. It was so easy to forget that their mother was not a Shadowhunter. She was just as brave, just as skilled. She even dressed in gear and accompanied them in battles sometimes. But the fact that Tessa was technically a warlock always came up somewhere, a constant reminder. "What would it do to me?" she decided to ask.

"I don't know," Tessa laughed. "Will?"

"Judging by the looks of it, I assume that it would make you act in a strange manner. And by the smell-" Will paused to lean in to get a whiff of the drink. "I'd say that it has a bit of magic mixed in, so it'd probably last for a very long time."

"You're making that up," Tessa smiled, narrowing her eyes at him.

"No. I happen to be an expert in warlock concoctions!" Will lied.

"Of course you are," Tessa sneered before taking another sip of the addictive drink. "Either way, it's quite delicious."

"Now you've got me curious," Will said, snatching the drink from her hand.

He leaned over the glass and placed his lips on the edge, tilting it slightly. "Will!" Tessa gasped, knocking the glass out of his hand and sending it toppling over on the table. "You don't know what that would have done to you!"

"Yes, and I was intent on finding out," Will said, cleaning up the mess.

"Oh, by the angel! You're ridiculous!" Tessa shook her head as he examined the drink once more before leaning back in her chair.

Lucie pushed her plate away and sighed. "Okay, now that we've had our fun with some dangerous drinks, can we go see the city?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, so I decided that there wasn't really a need to go in-depth on the New York trip. It was more just the idea of it that I wanted to right about. Instead, I've decided to make this fanfic (as it is about Tessa and Will growing further apart in age and eventually reaching his death) a bunch of few-chapter blips from their life. I hope you guys still like it?**

****"mam" is apparently the Welsh word for mom, so that's what I'm going with! And I have no idea how shadowhunter weddings go so this is my best guess...**

* * *

*7 years later*

"You look lovely, James," Tessa said, smiling as she straightened her son's tie. She then brushed his shoulders, ridding his shirt of any lint. She straightened his jacket and smoothed out the wrinkles in a motherly fashion. "I'm so proud of you." She stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around him, kissed him on the cheek.

James gave a weak smile, "Thanks, Mam." James pulled out of the hug and started pacing the room nervously.

"You'll do fine, James. Don't be so nervous," Tessa told him, sinking down onto his bed. She was dressed in a simple black gown that Cecily had picked out when they went shopping weeks ago. It was trimmed in gold lace, perfect for the occasion, and had a swirling pattern dancing across the bottom of the skirt. Her hair was down in an attempt to look older and it swayed softly against her shoulders. She looked beautiful as always.

James, dressed in black gear dotted with golden runes, continued to pace. "I'm not _nervous," _he replied, as if Tessa's comment had been an insult. "I just . . . I don't know."

"It's alright. I was just as jittery as you were, probably even more so, when I married your father," Tessa laughed. "Sophie was worried I was sick, I was so shaky."

James shook his head at that with a grin but kept striding across the room. "What if this isn't the right choice? What if I-"

"James," Tessa interrupted, standing up and crossing the room to where her son stood. She placed her hands gingerly on his shoulders and tilted his head down so that he was level with her. "I know this is the right choice. She loves you and you love her. Nothing will go wrong," Tessa assured him. He stared at her for a moment, not believing she was right, before nodding. Tessa hugged him again right as Will creaked the door open.

"Tess, James, we're about ready," he said, peaking through the doorway. His eyes were a brilliant blue, his face full of excitement. Wrinkles covered his skin but Tessa still thought he was so handsome. His hair was graying at the roots, but again, she didn't mind. He was still the same, beautiful, perfect Will she loved.

"Oh, we're ready," Tessa said, rushing to meet him at the door. James took a deep breath and followed his parents out of the room and down the hall. They walked in silence down the familiar Institute hallways, the place they called home. Will held Tessa by the waist and she leaned against him. She placed her hand gently above his, where it rested on her hip, and squeezed tightly. She could feel him smile.

When they reached the entrance to the church, the three stopped there. "I'll see you inside," Will said. He kissed her quickly on the lips and slipped through the doorway. Tessa let out her breath and held out her arm for James. Tessa had insisted on walking James down the aisle, though a somewhat mundane tradition, and he had reluctantly agreed. James gave her a tight smile before linking his arm in hers. Together, they strolled down the aisle as mother and son.

When they reached the altar, Tessa gave James a peck on the cheek before taking her seat beside Will. He gave her a sad smile - their son was growing up - and took her hand in his. She took a deep breath and watched as the ceremony began.

A Shadowhunter's wedding was quite different from a mundane's one. Tessa learned that a long time ago. There was no processional, no bridesmaids. No endless preachings or sappy vows. A Shadowhunter wedding was purely focused on the couple and the binding of their souls, almost like parabatai. Tessa found it quite beautiful how simple it was.

Cordelia Carstairs still had her grand entrance, walking down the aisle in a wave of golden beauty. Her hair was twisted up into an elaborate knot, clipped with golden barrettes. Her dress was long and slim, flowing into an elaborate network of golden fabric at the bottom, lace and sparkles and adornments everywhere. She looked absolutely stunning. Tessa looked at James, who was staring at her in awe, his golden eyes glistening like her dress. She smiled at him, so happy that her son finally found some happiness in Cordelia. She was afraid he'd never learn to love.

When Cordelia reached the altar, James pulled her up with both hands. Charlotte read a few words about Jonathan Shadowhunter and the meaning of Nephilim. Tessa had heard it a hundred times before, but she still found it enchanting. How she still wished she was a Shadowhunter . . .

"The rune of marriage is that of a strong bond. It will stay with you through life and death as a symbol of your binding. James Herondale, if you would please draw the rune of wedded union on your partners arm." Charlotte paused and James removed his stele, the one Will had given him as a present so long ago. Cordelia held out her arm, a smile on her face, as James carefully traced the pattern across her skin. It glistened for a moment before settling into ink black. "Cordelia Carstairs, if you would do the same to James." She took out her own stele and smoothly carved the rune into Jame's skin. James was staring at her so intently that Tessa wondered if he even noticed she was marking him.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, binded by the Clave," Charlotte declared, smiling at them. Luckily, the tradition of kissing the bride still remained amongst Shadowhunters, and James pulled Cordelia in close. He grasped her cheeks and kissed her sweetly, soaking up every second of the wondrous moment.

"Oh, by the angel," Tessa exclaimed. "I can't believe this is happening." She fought back tears as the crowd erupted in cheers. Lucie, standing beside her, was practically jumping in excitement. She would be wedded in just a few years, for sure. If Tessa couldn't handle this, how would she handle that?

"Oh, Tess," Will said, wrapping his arms around her. "Don't cry. This is good!" Tessa leaned into his chest, sniffing and trying desperately not to loose it.

"I know, Will. I know. I'm very happy, I am. I just . . I don't want him to grow up. I'm not ready," she admitted. Of course it was hard for any parent to watch their child turn into an adult, but it especially hard for Tessa. She knew that with each milestone in her childs' lives, they were getting older. Closer to death. And she was still 16. The descending inevitable that is their deaths, all of their deaths, was only getting closer. The thought made Tessa want to burst.

"I know, Tess, I know," Will said into her hair, stroking her gently. "We still have so much time. James isn't going anywhere, you know. He'll visit us all the time, you know that. Don't worry, okay? It will all be fine." Will kissed her on the forehead and looked into her eyes. His blue eyes looked blurry through her tears, but she could still make out the magnificent color that they were. She wiped her eyes and smiled at him.

"Yes. I know. It will all be fine," she repeated. Holding hands, the two walked over to greet their new daughter-in-law and their now fully grown up son.


	7. Chapter 7

*5 years later*

Tessa sucked in a sharp breath as Will's hands trailed down her hips. Her skin was cold and his warm touch made her melt. She tilted her head back as Will trailed kisses down her nick and onto her nearly bare chest. She was wearing only a brassiere, and Will's hands worked carefully and quickly to remove it. Tessa slid her hands up his exposed chest, the dark runes contrasting her pale skin. "Oh," she gasped as Will removed the undergarment and ran his hands over her chest. His lips met hers and they were kissing.

With her hands wrapped tightly around his neck and his skimming over her back, they moved in sync on the bed as they kissed passionately. Tessa felt the heat rushing through her, the oh-so-pleasant spark of his touch dancing on her lips. She hooked her legs around his waist, anxious to stay connected to him. He came up for air and brushed his lips against the hollow of her neck. He let out a long stream of tired breaths. Tessa pulled away and tilted his face to hers so that they were staring at each other, eye to eye. "Will, we don't have to do this if you do-"

"No, Tess," he said. "I want to." He cupped her face and began kissing her again, but she broke their kiss again.

Tessa knew Will was tired. It was late and he'd had a long day of demon-slaying; he just wanted to rest. But he kept trying to please her, trying to make her happy all of the time. He didn't seem to realize that Tessa didn't need the lust of being with him every night. It didn't matter to her. But he _thought _it did, so he continued to exhaust himself trying to prove to her that he was still just as good as he was when he was young.

"William," she sighed, running her thumb over his lips. "I know you want to, but you need to go to sleep. You don't have to push yourself. I'm fine." She felt guilty that he was doing this for her, exhausting himself in order to keep up with her young drive. Tessa didn't mind just talking or reading or sitting with Will. She loved that. But for some reason, Will thought that Tessa only loved him for the passion, the kisses, the sex. How could he not realize that Tessa loved him for everything _but _that? She loved him for the beauty of his words and the kindness of his heart. Yes, the lust was an added bonus, but Tessa didn't really care about that. She cared about Will as a person.

William sighed and looked away, embarrassed. His hair was nearly completely gray, his eyes were just a dim blue. Wrinkles creased his skin and his body was starting to tire. He became so aware of it lately, of his aging body, so scared of what Tessa would think. Tessa overheard him talking to Cecily on the phone the other day about how he thought Tessa would hate him, think of him as ugly. She wanted to disprove that thought - show him that she would love him always - but he just wouldn't let her. "I'm fine, Tessa. I'm not tired, I-"

"You're tired, Will. Don't lie to me," she sighed. She snatched her nightgown off the floor and slid it over her head. Will looked angry and guilty, but leaned back against the pillows. Tessa climbed in beside him and snuggled close. "Go to sleep, William."

She thought she had actually won this case, as Will seemed to relax. But she was so wrong. "I'm sorry, Tess," he whispered, staring up at the ceiling.

"For what?" she asked, though she knew the answer.

Will took a deep breath and ran his hands through her short brown hair. She had cut it a while ago in an attempt to look older, but it didn't make much of a difference. It was growing fast, though, and Tessa figured it would be back to its normal length within the year. "For not being able to keep up with you. I . . I'm so sorry, Tess. I love you, you know that. And I wish I could just _show _you. But I can't . . "

Tessa gasped and turned to face him, now feeling overridden with guilt. "William, are you crazy? You show me everyday how much you love me. With ever word, with ever move, with every breath. I don't know what more you could do," she breathed. Her eyes searched his face for any relief, but there was nothing. He still felt horrible.

"But I can't show you in the way that I should be able to. I can't satisfy that need anymore," Will said, almost sheepishly. It was true, though. Will hadn't been exactly able to, well, _go all the way _anymore. He's getting very old, and it's not easy for him. "I wish I could . . but I'm too old for it. I'm sorry."

"Will," Tessa sighed. She laid against his chest, rising up and down with each breath. "I don't care about that. I love you for who you are, Will, not what you can or could do. You satisfy me in so many ways I can't even begin to list them. You're so kind and funny, caring and sweet. I don't know what I would do without you," she said, but quickly realized what she just hinted at. Soon she would be without him, and it was true that she had no idea how she would live. She was lucky he lived this long, though - Shadowhunters usually die very young. But it was likely that he only had a decade or so left, and Tessa wasn't sure if she was ready for that.

William didn't reply. He just lay there and thought about how horrible he felt. He thought that he was a terrible person for forcing Tessa into this life with him, where he would inevitably die and leave her alone. Sure, she had James and Lily, and maybe Sophie and Cecily for a few years longer, but soon they would all be gone. And Tessa would be alone.

The thought of it made Will want to cry with guilt. Why couldn't he live forever, stay with her through all the pain? But it was impossible. Many times, he had approached Magnus asking for some sort of way out. But there was no spell that could grant him immortality, aside from becoming a vampire of a Brother. But that would be a horrible fate for Will. Jem proved that the Brotherhood wasn't much of a life at all. And a vampire - well, the idea made Will want to vomit.

The only answer was to just accept it, to die when his time came. And that threatened his life everyday as he noticed himself aging. He rarely fought anymore in battles, he was so tired. It was hard for him to read for a long time. He sometimes forgot simple things like where he put his stele or that Lucie had moved out years ago. It was becoming so painfully apparent to both of them that he was changing while she was not.

"Tessa?" he said after a long while. Her head was still on his chest and it appeared that she was nearly asleep. But she let out a soft _hmmm? _and Will continued. "I just want you to know that you are everything to me. You have made all of this bearable. You don't care that I've grown old and ugly or that I'm not the Shadowhunter I used to be. You love me no matter what, and that makes me love you all the more."

Tessa took his hand and kissed it gently before placing it back on her stomach. "I do love you, Will. No matter what," she repeated before closing her eyes. Will's steady breathing lulled her to sleep as she dreamed about the days they had left together.


	8. Chapter 8

*Many years later*

"Mam?" James murmured, knocking on the door. Tessa didn't reply, but James came in anyway. He walked over to where his mother lay, curled up in a ball on the bed, and sat beside her. She let out a choking noise when James placed his hand on his back, but stayed silent. "Mam, are you okay?" James knew she was not, but he didn't know what else to say. What is there to say to take the pain away? Nothing.

She shook her head against the pillow and finally sat up. Her hair was a wild mess, her bun coming loose. Her white gown was wrinkled and hung loosely on her body. Her face was as pale as ever. Her eyes were red and blotchy. "Oh, James," she sobbed, and clung to her son. He wrapped his arms around her and held onto her tightly. She buried her face into his broad chest, curled into him and cried. James was never much of a comforter, but he'd gotten better at it over the years. He rocked his mother back and forth gently in his arms and tried to stay strong for her. He had already cried earlier today, despite being a brave Shadowhunter, and knew that his mother would have a much harder time bearing the pain.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without him," she whimpered. James knew that this, though long-awaited, was still a shock to Tessa. She _knew _that Will was mortal - that he'd die eventually - but yet she was so unprepared for it. He was everything to her, her light, her world, her love. And now he was gone, moving on to another life that she will never reach - at least not for hundreds and hundreds of years. Magnus Bane was right - immortality was not a gift. It was a curse.

A horrible, horrible curse.

"You'll be fine, mother. You can stay with us, if you wish. I'm sure Aunt Sophie would take you in, as well. You don't have to be alone, Mam. We're all here for you," James said. But he knew it was only the truth for a short time. Sophie would pass away soon enough. James and Cordelia's children had recently moved out, and there time would only prove to be a few more decades, at most. They could die in battle any given day. Tessa's grandchildren would still be alive for much longer, but it's not like she wanted to spend eternity with the Herondale generations. She would visit them occasionally, of course. But staying with them for all of time? It was not something she wanted to dwell on. Every Herondale child had those same blue eyes, that cocky, sarcastic humor. Tessa couldn't stand it.

_"You look so beautiful, Tess. You always look so, so beautiful," Will had said as he lay on his bed, his throat tight and his eyes straining. He was very old, his skin covered in iratzes that would not save him now. He was dressed in all black, wanting to die like a warrior. Tessa sat beside him with tears in her eyes, holding his hand like it was her heart. _

_"William, please don't go. Please, _please, _stay with me," she pleaded, hysterical. She knew it was impossible. His time has come. It was inevitable, his death, slowly descending upon him until today. He stretched his hand out and cupped her cheek, holding it weakly in his. "I'll see you again, Tess. In the next life, I know I will. Don't worry." _

"I need to get away," Tessa whispered, pulling away from her son. She stood up and brushed her dress off, straightened up her hair. "Now. I - I need to leave." She sounded hectic, frantic, here eyes darting across the room as she tried to plan this spontaneously.

"What do you mean? You can't just leave," James questioned, walking over to her. He grabbed her shoulders and stopped her in her place, looking her in the eyes. "We . . we need you, Mam. Cordelia and I, Lucie and Jesse. You're our mother and we want you here. I know that without dad, that without him it's hard. But you can make it through. We can help you."

Tessa sucked in a tight, sharp breath and tried not to start crying again. She missed Will so much already. Just a day has gone by but it felt like forever. "James, I can't stay here. It all reminds me too much of him. I . . . I think I'll go to New York. I can stay with Magnus, maybe. I just need to get out of here."

James understood his mother, but didn't want her to go. He was afraid she'd lose herself if she was out there alone. She'd go mad without anyone but Magnus. But what else could he say to her? She made up her mind. She was ready to leave, to get out fast and forget.

"Mam? James?" they both heard from down the hall. James, who had his mouth open in protest, turned to see Lucie standing in the doorway looking worried. She was dressed in a long, simple, ivory gown. Her straw brown hair hung loosely across her shoulders and her eyes were full of concern. She looked like a much older version of Tessa, standing their. Tessa wondered if she would have looked like Lucie if she was mortal. Maybe, maybe not. "Oh, mother," Lucie cried as she took in Tessa's wild expression. She rushed over and hugged her for probably the eightieth time that day. Tessa squeezed her back around the waist and then pulled away.

"I've decided to leave, Lucie. To New York," she said simply, frankly. It was easier that way; there was so much less pain.

"What? Why?" Lucie gasped.

"I can't stay here anymore, Lucie. I need to get out of here for awhile . . . try to move on."

Lucie's face twisted in sorrow but she understood. "We'll miss you. So, so much," she whispered. Lucie had always been close with her mother, never away from her for more than a week or so. The idea of living on opposite sides of the globe scared her.

"I know, Luce," Tessa said. "I'll miss both of you so much but I need to do this. I . . I need to move on," Tessa whispered.

_Soft sounds of Jem's violin played in the background as Will struggled to stay awake, to stay alive. He watched half-asleep as Jem slid his fingers across the violin, his bow gliding across the strings as he played a gentle, warm song. Though his hood was up, Tessa knew that Jem was crying as well. He was losing his parabatai for good and it was tearing him apart. _

_"You really shouldn't play such sad music, James," Will laughed in a weak voice. "We need a much more uplifting song. Do you know any party songs? Something upbeat." Tessa smiled through her tears but Jem kept playing. This was no time for Will's jokes in his opinion. _

"You promise you'll visit?" Lucie asked, watching as her mother stuffed her belongings into her case. James sat, motionless, on the bed, his blue eyes focused on nothing but blank walls. Lucie was standing off to the side, trying to cope with this fact. It was all happening so fast. Will only passed yesterday, the ceremony this morning. And now Tessa was _leaving? _It didn't seem right. But neither did Will's death, did it?

"Of course I'll visit," Tessa nodded, somewhat happily. It's not like she wanted to loose all contact from her children and her family; she just couldn't stay here forever with them as a constant reminder. "At least once a year, maybe twice if you would like." Tessa knew she would have to come to meet James on Blackfriar's bridge each year, as she always did. She could visit her children then, reunite. But she didn't want much more than that; it would be too painful.

"Please, mother, if you need anything - don't hesitate to send us a firemessage. We love you so much," James said, coming out of his daze. "You know that I do."

"I know, James," she smiled up at him. If anybody walked in it would almost appear as if Lucie and James were married, and Tessa was their child, moving out finally. But how reversed it really was, how strange their family seemed. Tessa hoped that in New York she wouldn't have to be reminded of her immortality. She could just try to enjoy herself; be happy. "I love you both so very much. You two have made my life so much better," she told them.

She finished packing and embraced the two of them, standing on her toes. James kissed her on the cheek and forehead. Lucie hugged her and then held her hand as they walked down to the portal. Tessa set it up herself - Henry was gone now, but had taught Tessa how to do so - and the portal whirled to life. Blue light swirled within and Tessa stood hesitantly outside of it, nervous to go through. "I love you both. I'll see you soon. I promise." Lucie and James waved her goodbye, tears in their eyes, and Tessa lept through.

_"Tess, I want to tell you something. One last thing," Will whispered. James had finished his song and was now standing on the other side of the bed, waiting for William to close his eyes. _

_"What is it, Will?" Tessa sobbed, her throat dry and clogged with tears. Her heart stretched as as she listened to Will as he pushed all of his efforts into his words, struggling till the last breath._

_"'I wish you to know that you have been the last dream of my soul...Since I knew you, I have been troubled by a remorse that I thought would never reproach me again, and have heard whispers from old voices impelling me upward, that I thought were silent for ever. I have had unformed ideas of striving afresh, beginning anew, shaking off sloth and sensuality, and fighting out the abandoned fight. A dream, all a dream, that ends in nothing, and leaves the sleeper where he lay down, but I wish you to know that you inspired it,'" he recited. A Tale of Two Cities. Tessa nearly sobbed. "You inspired me, Tessa. I love you." He took his final breath and his eyes slid shut. Tessa pressed her head against his heart and cried silently._

_"I love you, too, William. I always will."_

* * *

**THE END! **

**So I hope you guys liked it! I know it started out as something completely different, but hopefully the change to this sort of skipping around was okay. Tell me what you think. **

**Also, yearwise, none of this was very accurate to the Family Tree in CP2, and I apologize for that. But hopefully it wasn't that big of a deal. Anyway, THANK YOU FOR READING AND REVIEWING AND AHH THANKS!**


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